Dear ladies, gentlemen, we often receive these questions: “I am shy, in parties or business meetings where groups of people are standing, how can I join smoothly a group already discussing without interrupting them? How can I then start discussing with them?” I propose you 7 steps for being a successful socialite.
1 Spot people alone
You are alone and don’t know who to talk to? There must be other people in the same case! Try to spot alone people in the room: they will probably be happy to have someone to discuss with. Together, you may even go to discuss to others.
2 Who is dressed like you?
To make it easier: target people dressed the same way as you. They are probably here for the same reason as you. In an elegant party, if you are not dressed as well as most of the guest: talk to the person who is also not so well-dressed, he/she probably also feel bad about it.
3 If you know somebody in a group
You are lucky, that’s the easiest way. Simply try to catch his/her eye contact, go to greet him/her, he will most probably introduce you to the group. If not, there is nothing wrong to ask him/her to do so.
4 The restroom / buffet strategy
Wait for someone involved in a group you would like to talk to to go to the restroom, take a glass or some food. Take this chance to start the discussion when he is done with what he wanted to do. Later you may also ask him to introduce you to the group.
5 If not, start to look at the feet
You know nobody in any groups discussing: start by reading the body language. Look at the feet of people discussing. If two people are discussing while standing that way, do you think they are open to a new comer?
In this position, these persons create a barrier with their feet towards the outside: they are involved in an important discussion and don’t want to be disturbed. Don’t try with them, they would not welcome you.
6 Try to spot the open feet
The solution is: try to search those who are standing with an open leg towards the outside, that way:
This person is probably done with the discussion of the group or not so interested, he/she will be open to new comers. Go to talk to him/her, start introducing you and launch the small talks.
7 They stop discussing and look at you
You started to discuss with one person of a group, all the others are interrupting their conversation and start looking at you. You have their attention, don’t be shy, introduce yourself and ask about them “Good evening, my name is Guillaume, I am very happy to meet you. May I ask your name?”
I hope this advice will be useful for you. Actually it is mostly by practicing it will become easier for you. Good luck!
