Dear ladies and gentlemen of the 21st century. There is a topic we have never been talking about here. However, we are all concerned, and all hoping everyone would have decency. Therefore, I propose you the modern toilet etiquette in 2021!
Oh, I need to…
You need what? We don’t need your details. Don’t even mention the word, you going to “toilets”. A simple “I will be back shortly” is enough, people shall understand.
If they are really asking for more, prefer
- I go to the restroom
- I go wash my hands
- I go powder my nose
- I’m having a “technical” break
Oh, you are here?
You enter the toilets and surprise! Your colleague is here. What shall you do? Greetings? Gentle talk?
Of course none of these. Most of us prefer being invisible while in toilets. If you talk, you break the charm! Eye-contact with little smile is enough before you all move on to what you intend to do.
If (s)he starts to talk to you, simply propose to continue outside! Remember, you don’t know who’s listening in the cabins…
Oh, which door shall I enter？
Quizz: you have all these doors in front of us where you could go doing your business. Which one do you take?
We like to be invisible, thus we don’t enjoy much-having neighbors…If all cabins are empty, take the first or last one. If not, try to let one cabin space between you and the next occupied one. And we’ll all live well together!
Where shall I hang my things?
If you are not lucky to have hangers around you, be creative. You may hang your bag, your jacket:
- On the door handle
- Over the toilet paper holder
- Over your neck
- Other option you may found (leave us a comment )
Gentlemen, standing or sitting?
You’re here about No.1 and don’t have time to sit? Certainly, urinals are meant for this.
They welcome you close. Very close. And they want it all: don’t let anything fall on the ground! But if there are only cabins and it’s still about No.1, shall you sit or stand in front of the toilet bowl?
I leave the decision to you. If you go for standing, give dignity to manhood, go with these tips:
1. We don’t want to hear what’s happening! Target the white, not the water.
2. We want you to leave it clean and you want to avoid having to clean: widen your legs, it will fall from lower and decrease splashes.
3. Cleaning is not unworthy. Leaving splashes is. Take a paper if needed and get your dignity safe.
Oh, I need to…
Toilets are where you may do some changes for your sanitary napkin. Shall we ask vocally your neighbors if she can provide you one, in case you forgot?
Discretion remains the rule, again, even if in need. And we trash all this in the bin, not with the flush.
Oh, there is no toilet paper left!
That’s the first thing you need to check. Change cabin if needed. Better have your own tissue in with you, in case of emergency.
And be nice, try not to let an empty roll after you leave.
Oh, I don’t want to sit
Ok ok we admit: in public places the seat may not be the cleanest. How to deal?
No, you can’t do a squat on the seat. (come on…) Yes, you can put a few toilet papers on it to cover the surface. No, you can’t have a 3cm thick layer. Protect our planet, save trees.
Oh, my trousers will touch the ground!
Easy! Roll it up until your knees!
Oh, it’s about No.2, noise incoming
Solution! Throw 1 or 2 piece of paper at the surface of the water, it will prevent any splash noise. Brilliant, isn’t it?
Oh, I need to…
Actually not too much. Don’t forget people (especially ladies…) may be waiting outside.
Oh, it smells bad…
Solution! You may do the “mid-flush”. It will clear up, and you can continue.
Smoking to remove the smell
Toilet smell is unpleasant. Smoking smell is unhealthy. Thus worse. Then don’t smoke at all.
Keep the lid down
Did you know, each flush are spraying bacteria around 25cm above the toilet bowl, which would have 12 times more bacteria is let open.
I have let mark, I need to brush…
Make it like nothing happened with you. Take the brush and bring perfection. Grab the handle with a piece of toilet paper if you are disgusted. (When you are at home or at friend’s home)
The gentleman’s drop should not exist! Don’t let it fall or wipe it out.
Leave like a prince(ss)
You did all good? Congratulations! Now leave without looking at those coming in with an emergency face. Be kind, let them believe they are invisible.
