Social & Business Manners

Proper sitting postures

When sitting at the table we should use your hand’s width to determine how close we should approach to the table. Let’s review now our sitting positions from top to toes.

1. Chin parallel to the floor is the proper head’s position.

2. Your shoulders should always be down and backward.

3. Your back should be straight with your tailbone touching the back of the chair (leaning against the chair).

4. Space between the legs should be the same as our shoulder width. For ladies, crossing legs is also acceptable. During long meetings, you can alternate leg placement.

Arms

Very often we don’t know what to you with arms during a meeting. I propose you several postures according to the aim you want to achieve.

The demonstrating power pose

Place your arms with both elbows on the table, hands up and hand in hand, fingers relaxed. During a meeting, if you want to look decisive and confident when it comes to a certain topic I propose you to have this pose.

The closed pose

For instance, if you want to be left outside of some discussions you can show that by crossing your arms.Be aware that this pose normally signalize as an attempt to put a barrier between you and other persons, so use it wisely.

The open pose

Our forearms are on the table, hands are one in each other, fingers relaxed. With this pose you are present in the discussion but not aggressive.

The relaxed pose

Our arms are under the table,either placed in our lap or next to our body. This pose is also suitable for people who tend to play with pen or can’t remain their hands steady. With placing your hands under the table those problems are not visible.

To avoid

1. Our hands shouldn’t be playing with something on the table (pen, glass, etc…)

2. We shouldn’t, of course, rest our head in our hands.

I propose you to try these poses and find the proper one that will allow you to stand out in your business meetings! Let me know if you have any doubt regarding proper postures in the comments below!

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Your shoulders
We said it in our previous articles: your shoulders should always, ALWAYS, be down and backwards. It’s elegant and healthy for your spine (rounded shoulders would add pressure on your vertebras).

How to reach this position? Again, same exercise: Place your shoulders in front- Up – Back – Down.

Keep your stomach in. You can breathe normally. Your neck must remain straight. It’s healthier and more elegant.

Your arms

The elegant pose
Here place your arms at the belly-button level, put one hand on the other one, fingers relaxed, covering only the two first phalanx. Your rings remain visible.

The confident pose
This pose is simple, but not the one most people would have thought of: simply let your arms along the body! It makes your body shape longer, and create a space between your arms and your body, giving a slimmer appearance.

This is typically the pose many stars would have when taking photos. You may think you look weird, but actually not at all. This is why I would call it the “confident pose”: you need to be self-confident enough to do it.

Avoid crossing arms
Don’t cross your arms. It will give a bad impression about yourself (closed mind), and will also make your back round.

Your feet

The elegant pose
Place one foot facing straight in front of the other facing towards the side. This gives you a slimmer and taller shape.

When: When you want to look elegant. This pose is also pretty common among stars.

The proper pose
Simply have your feet joined together, against each other. This position is for those who don’t want to catch attention.

When: If you are working in hospitality, service, at a junior position, or if you just want to be discreet.

The confident pose
This is the same as the proper pose, but you don’t have to put your feet together, you could have a little space in between (not larger than the shoulder). It gives a more solid, confident impression.

When: If you are working in an executive position.

How to relieve your pressure
For those of you who must stand for a long time, here is what you can do to relieve the pressure.
Start to put all your weight on your heels when standing.
Once it becomes painful, start to put the weight on your toes. You will bend a bit. It will relieve your heels and hips.
Alternate this slowly, and you will be able to stand for a long time.

But I am sure you also have some standing postures and technics you would like to share with us. Please do it in the comments below!
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United States / Australia / Canada
English: “Cheers”
Most common drinks: Whiskey, beer
Rules：The guest of honour is toasted and should reciprocate by giving a toast of thanks. At more formal gatherings, glasses are raised in response to a speech, and a group response is elicited. Simple, informal toasts involve raising a glass and saying “Cheers.” It is acceptable for women to propose a toast.

To do
– Wait for everyone to be served with a drink and the toast is proposed before drinking.
– In restaurants/ bars, don’t forget that everyone should take a turn to buy a round of drinks.

France
French: “Santé !”, “À votre santé !”, “À la tienne, Etienne ! (“to your health”)
Most common drink: Wine
Rules：Glasses are generally raised as the toast is made and sometimes, clinked together before the first sip is taken.

To do
– After serving you wine, wait until everybody gets theirs and the hosts have given their toast, then drink.
– When toasting others, clink glasses with everybody at the table.
– Filling a wine glass more than halfway.
– When clinking glasses, don’t cross your arm over anybody else’s.
– Don’t drink the last half inch of wine from the bottle, since it contains sediment, and that would be a tragic insult to the quality of the wine.

Germany
German: “Zum Wohl!” , “Prost!” (“goodhealth”)
Most common drink: Beer, sekt
Rules：The host gives the first toast. An honoured guest should return the toast later in the meal.

To do
– You should always touch all the glasses you can reach at your table when someone makes a toast.
– Don’t lose direct eye contact from the time the glass is raised, until it is placed back on the table.

Japan
Japanese: 乾杯” (“Kanpai”= “dry the glass”)
Most common drink: “Nihonshu”(Japanese sake)
Rules：Usually, toasts are only made at the beginning and end of Japanese parties or drinking and dining sessions, usually by the Japanese host. Generally, the most senior person on the hosting side would have the honours.

To do
– If you want to finish drinking, just leave your glass mostly full, that means it’s enough, also stands forfood.
– If someone offers you to refill your glass, quickly finish your drink and represent them with an empty glass,because it’s rude to refill if there is already something in it.
– In return, you should pour the other person’s glass.
– Don’t pour for yourself, there are superstitions that those who pour for themselves are doomed to live many years alone.

Russia
Russian:“zazdarovye” (Заздоровье – “to your health”)
Most common drink: Vodka
Rules：Drinking in Russia is seen as a bonding activity, even in business. It’s a way of building trust and breaking down barriers. The host starts with a toast and the guests reply.

To do
– Begin eating only after somebody says a toast.
– After the toast, clink your glasses together.
– Don’t drink vodka with something fruity, drink it straight.
– Don’t drink until the first toast is offered.
– Don’t clink your glass if it is a non-alcoholic beverage.
– Refusing to drink is unacceptable unless you give a plausible excuse (health, religion).

Thailand
Thai: “Chai Yo”(“Hurray”= “cheers”)
Most common drink: Thai beer and whiskey
Rules: If you find yourself the guest of honour, you’ll probably be expected to sit at the middle of the table rather than at the head. The guest of honour is also usually expected to give a toast at some point. Toasts are often given throughout a drinking session, not just at the start.

To do
– If someone is your senior or of higher status, hold your glass slightly lower and clink low on theirs.
– Top off the glasses of people around you if you fill your own.
– Don’t drain your glass unless you want a refill.

Dear ladies and gentlemen, I hope you will have a memorable experience next time when giving an international toast and CHEERS to that! Or should I say À votre santé!

Five Ws
Start your review by giving a little introduction about yourself, you don’t need to go too much in details, you can follow the five Ws:
Who: who went to the hotel, was it only you? Were you with your family, your partner, your friends or your colleagues? Also, add the frequency of your travels, it will give to your hotel review more credibility.
Where: give the city and the name of the hotel you stayed in.
When: tell your readers the dates of your trip, if it was during a particular holiday, during the week or during a weekend.
Why: give the reason for your trip (business trip, pleasure…) and why you would recommend or not the place to others.
What: let the readers know about what you did there if you only went there to sleep if you went to the hotel restaurant, the type of room you booked, your first impression of the place, everything related to what you have experienced during your trip.

Set evaluation criteria
If you are a person who travels often to different places, for many reasons and you write review wherever you go, you should set standard criteria you will use to evaluate the tested places and will always use the same for all places you are going to.

Tip: take some notes throughout your stay so you will not forget anything when it’s time to write the review.

Location
People like to know the distance between the hotel and the airport or the station, so you can write about that and also give the amount of money you spent on transportation or taxi to get there. You can be more useful and let the people know about the major attractions near the hotel (shopping, restaurants, dining, nightlife, tourist activities).

Pictures
A picture is worth a thousand words. If the website allows you to, give as many pictures as you can to support your review whether you are talking about the wonderful sunset in Greece or the dusty desk when you arrived. Posting pictures will help the readers understand your experience with ease.

Amenities
You can talk about the room you had, the feeling sleeping on the bed, about the pool if it was clean, or you can also discuss the different services provided by the hotel (spa, massage, room service…). You may think they are small details but they can be useful for the people reading you to make their choice.

Staff
And of course don’t forget about the staff in your review, they are also part of your experience. Discuss how courteous and friendly or unhelpful and rude the staff was. Maybe you had a special request and you are satisfied with the way they handled it.

Details
Share your experience of what stood out. Include details of your stay, why you liked or disliked your visit. Give a balanced view, but you don’t need to list every little flaw: the readers want you to focus on facts and give valuable details, they don’t want to read about a list of complaints.

Tone
Write with clarity, confidence and honesty: be objective and fair. Keep in mind that the other traveller may not have been to the hotel, so your review can persuade them to either go or choose another option.
Be careful about the tone you use. If you are angry or upset, you are still writing a review, not a rant.

Tip: when you are done writing your review, take some time to read it back or ask someone to check it. It should be professional, engaging, detailed and free of errors.

Dear ladies and gentlemen, writing a review is not an easy task, just set your own criteria and you will soon find your way of writing. Do you have any other tips to write a nice review? Please share with us.

A Harvard University study showed only 15% of the reason why a person gets a job, keeps it, or advances in a job is connected to technical skills and job knowledge meaning things you learned for instance at university. Whereas 85% is related to people skills, which also includes the successful interaction, communication, and socialising with people.

Tip 1
Some of your colleagues may put pictures of their families, children, hobbies, or pets on their desk. While you pass by their desk, it is easy to do the first step and ask them about that picture or thing you see on their desk. For example: “What a beautiful child you have. How old is she?”

Tip 2
Try to find commonalities to easily connect with a person. Maybe you are interested in a specific topic that your colleague is an expert in or you have the same hobby. It can be something you have heard about your colleague which is a good topic to start a small talk. For example: “Hello James, I heard you spent your Chinese New Year skiing in Switzerland. I also did the same. In which area did you ski?”

Tip 3
When you get up from your desk to go and grab new water or tea, challenge yourself to even start a conversation with a colleague who also gets a new drink, but you don’t know yet. You can start by introducing yourself: “Hello, my name is Mr. Wang. I am a software engineer in this department. We haven’t met yet. What do you do?”

Tip 4
When you have a small talk, show your genuine interest in your colleague by asking some open questions, e.g. questions like what, when, why… It will keep the conversation alive and you can build up a connection with this person. Closed questions that can be answered with a short yes or no, make it more difficult to keep the conversation running.

Tip 5
Spend your lunch time by talking to your colleagues. Important is, put your phone down and put your attention on your lunch partners. Encourage your colleagues to talk about themselves again by asking questions and be a good listener. It will help you build up a closer and trustworthy relationship. This conversation will also give your brain and body a good break from your work.

Tip 6
Always try to genuinely help others. Find out about your colleague’s challenges and needs and see how you can help him or her first. It will strengthen your connection.
Tip 7
People love to hear their name. While having a conversation or greeting someone in the hallway, greet them with their name. Throughout a conversation, feel free to repeat their name a few times as well.

I hope you are now well prepared to start socialising more often at your workplace.

General rules
Here are few rules in business occasions before we go into the details:
Introduce others to the most important people;
Introduce the lower rank to higher rank;
Same rank, introduce younger ones to older ones;
Same rank, same age, introduce men to women.

Introduce two people
Imagine we need to introduce A and B, A is our client, and B is our colleague, then we need to:

Greet A, introduce B’s name and title
Greet B, introduce A’s name and title
A & B greet each other

Note：Don’t forget to introduce A to B.

Introduce one group of people
What if we need to introduce a group of people? Then we need to make judgments before we introduce them: who is the most important person in this group? If we need to introduce A and B, C, D to each other. A is our client, B, C, D are our colleagues. Then we need to:

Greet A, introduce B, C, D by their ranks (with name & title);
Greet B C D by ranks, and introduce A’s name & title to them;

Note：Greet B, C, D first, and then introduce A to them all together.

Introduce two groups of people
If we need to introduce A&B&C (clients) and D, E, F (colleagues), and we need to know the most important persons in the two groups, then we introduce:

Greet A,B,C by their ranks, introduce D,E,F by ranks;
Introduce D,E,F to A,B,C, with names &titles.

Note：The sequence of introducing a group implies their importance in this meeting.

Now we understand the general rules about introducing people. In reality, things would be much more complicated. And, what if you are going to introduce three groups of people? How to do it properly?